My Darling, My Vampire
by roswell4ever1
Summary: Spike is in love with Buffy but Buffy thinks Spike is a terrible, repulsive monstor. Can he change her mind?
1. Get Away!

My Darling, My Vampire.  
  
Written by Roswell4ever1  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!!!  
  
Part One- Get Away!  
  
"Bugger All! This bloody thing won't open!" Spike complained as he attempted to open the jar of pickles.  
  
"Ugh, pathetic!" Buffy said as she grabbed the jar and opened it with ease. "And you call yourself the big bad?"  
  
"Hey, I am the big bad girlie, and don't you forget it. Want to see just how bad I can be?" He asked with a devilish smile on his face as he walked toward her.  
  
"Get away from me Spike! The only reason I am here with you is because Giles needed the help. If he wasn't your uncle, I would have nothing to do with you."  
  
"Oh come on luv, you know you want me. Don't fight it."  
  
"Ewe! Spike, this is a soup kitchen. People come here to eat and you are going to cause them all to lose their appetites. I know I have."  
  
"Ha! You aren't denying it. You do want me!" Spike said that evil grin returning.  
  
Willow, Cordelia and Xander were standing in the kitchen watching the whole scene play out.  
  
"Oh, this is sad!" Cordelia said.  
  
"I know. He is so into her and she is breaking his heart."  
  
Everyone looked at Willow in confusion.  
  
"Wil, I think she was talking about his approach." Xander said.  
  
"I was. Someone really needs to tell him how to attract a woman." Cordelia said.  
  
"Oh. Well, I think he is doing just fine! I mean, he could talk to me like that anyday!" Willow said.  
  
"O-kay!" Xander said. "I think I'll get back to work now."  
  
"Spike, let me put this in a way even you can understand. Even if you were the last man on earth, I would not want you. You disgust me. You are a gross, pig headed, repulsive vampire with no consideration for anyone but yourself. You are the kind of thing that nightmares are made of." Buffy said as she started to walk away.  
  
"Oh, so you've been dreaming about me, have you luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"I said nightmare. Not dream."  
  
"Hey, I'll take what I can get."  
  
"Ugh! Your intolerable!" Buffy said as she disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
"What's up Buffy?"  
  
"Oh Willow, save me!"  
  
"Since when do you need saving? You're Wonder Woman."  
  
"Since the Billy Idol wannabe out there started to hit on me." "Spike?"  
  
"Yes Spike. He is so...so..."  
  
"Hot." Willow said quietly.  
  
"What was that Willow?"  
  
"Oh come on Buffy, you have to admit, he is really hot! I mean with that bleached hair, that gorgeous British accent and that body!"  
  
"I think Willow needs a cold, cold shower!" Xander said.  
  
"He's attractive to look at Willow, but he is a monster! I don't trust him and I certainly don't want to spend any time with him."  
  
"Buffy, it isn't like you haven't dated a vampire before. I mean come on, Angel is proof that even a vampire can change."  
  
"Willow, need I remind you that even Angel turned?"  
  
"Well, If you don't want Spike, can I have him?"  
  
"No! You can't trust him Willow. He's bad news!"  
  
"Who's bad news?"  
  
"Your nephew, Giles." Buffy said.  
  
"Yes, he is. But he sure has taken a liking to you Buffy. I have never seen him follow anyone around the way he does you. I mean, look. He's even serenading you!"  
  
Buffy looked out the window looking into the dining room just in time to see Spike jump on one of the counters.  
  
"Buffy, Buffy, your so fine, your so fine you blow my mind! Go Buffy! Go Buffy!" He continued to sing while turning in circles and shaking his rear.  
  
"Oh my gosh! Someone please grab one of my stakes and stab me. Right in the heart that way it goes quickly. Come to think of it, I don't care where you stab me, as long as it works. I would rather suffer the pain then have to listen to this any longer. Hurry!" As she said this, Buffy slid down and sat against the wall.  
  
"Oh come on Buffy, it isn't that bad." Xander said.  
  
"Well, Xander" Buffy started. "If you don't think it will be so bad, why don't you date him? I'm sure the two of you will be very happy together. I don't date vampires anymore!"  
  
"Buffy, he's not..."  
  
"Enough, Giles. I'm not interested. Case closed! I'm going to get ready for tonight's patrol."  
  
Buffy walked out of the kitchen into the dining room. As she walked past a still serenading Spike, she shoved him into a row of chairs sending him to the floor hard. She then left the building and headed home.  
  
Spike quickly got up and walked into the kitchen where the rest were standing.  
  
"Bloody hell! I must be doing something wrong." He said.  
  
"Yeah, I think the whole you know you want me bit was definitely the wrong approach." Xander told him.  
  
"Come on Spike. Time to fill you in on what a girl really likes." Cordelia said as she led him outside and to her car by the arm. They drove to her apartment in silence.  
  
"Are you sure this is going to work luv?" Spike asked as he lit a cigarette. The third in the last ten minutes. Spike had a tendency to chain smoke when he was nervous.  
  
"Well, I hope so. I know it would work for me!" Cordelia told him.  
  
"Here goes nothing." Spike said nervously as he walked out of her apartment and started down the street to Buffy's house.  
  
Buffy had just finished patrolling. It had been a slow night. Only one vampire to contend with and he was a lightweight. She pushed the key into the lock and opened the door. Once inside, she dropped the keys on the hallway table and plopped down onto the couch. It may have been slow, but she was tired. After the ordeal with Spike, she needed some downtime. She got up and walked toward the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. Just then, there was a knock at the door.  
  
She sighed as she walked toward the door. Upon opening it, she spotted the bleach blonde standing there looking at her.  
  
Spike was so nervous he could hardly breathe. The last woman he had any kind of interest in was Drusilla and although she was beautiful, she was the downfall of Spike. She was the one that turned him into a vampire one lonely summer night, six years ago. He fell hard for her. Gave her all of him. She was his heart, his reason for existence. Then, a year and a half ago, he came home one night and found the Dear John letter saying that he was nothing to her and that she was going back to New York. Apparently her and her ex decided to get back together and Spike was no longer needed. No longer good enough. It almost ruined Spike when she left. He spent the next six months pretty much associating with no one. No one except Giles. Giles was the one that brought him out of his slump and brought him to the realization that things would get better. He couldn't go through that again. His heart wouldn't take it. He felt so vulnerable and terrified that he was about to throw up but he held back knowing that would definitely put off a bad impression.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I...I...um"  
  
"Spit it out Spike, I don't have all night."  
  
He took his hands from behind his back and held out the roses that he had bought for her.  
  
"I wanted to give you these luv. Kind of my way of saying I'm sorry for that whole thing at Giles shop."  
  
"Spike, I can't take those." Buffy told him.  
  
"Well, why bloody not?"  
  
"Because, if I do, it will give you the wrong impression."  
  
"You really do detest me don't you?" He asked.  
  
"No Spike. I don't detest you. I loathe you. I find you repulsive and sickening." She told him. "You're not good enough for me"  
  
"Well then, I guess I had better go luv. Wouldn't want you to lose your dinner on account of me." He dropped the flowers in the doorway. "I got these for you. Keep them or throw them away. I don't bloody care anymore." He walked down the steps and out of sight.  
  
Buffy picked the roses up and felt a pang of regret for being so mean. But she had to. It was the only way he would leave her alone. And she wanted him to leave her alone.  
  
Spike walked into Giles shop. Everyone was sitting around relaxing after a long day. It was now 8:30 and they had closed the soup kitchen thirty minutes ago. Giles held the kitchen every weekend. Kind of his way of giving back to the community.  
  
"That's it! I am so bloody done with that woman!"  
  
"Didn't work?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"She told me I wasn't good enough for her. She might as well have spit in my face."  
  
"Maybe you just need a new approach." Giles said.  
  
"No. I give up. I have tried for the last year to impress her and nothing works. I quit." He said as he sat down.  
  
"Maybe it's your clothes. You know, girls really like pastels." Willow said.  
  
The guys all looked at her with crinkled eyebrows and open mouths.  
  
"Forget it. I am not wearing pink. Besides, my appearance isn't the problem. I am. I'm bloody tired." He got up and walked out of the shop defeated.

> My Darling, My Vampire.  
  
Written by Roswell4ever1  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!!!  
  
Part One- Get Away!  
  
"Bugger All! This bloody thing won't open!" Spike complained as he attempted to open the jar of pickles.  
  
"Ugh, pathetic!" Buffy said as she grabbed the jar and opened it with ease. "And you call yourself the big bad?"  
  
"Hey, I am the big bad girlie, and don't you forget it. Want to see just how bad I can be?" He asked with a devilish smile on his face as he walked toward her.  
  
"Get away from me Spike! The only reason I am here with you is because Giles needed the help. If he wasn't your uncle, I would have nothing to do with you."  
  
"Oh come on luv, you know you want me. Don't fight it."  
  
"Eww! Spike, this is a soup kitchen. People come here to eat and you are going to cause them all to lose their appetites. I know I have."  
  
"Ha! You aren't denying it. You do want me!" Spike said that evil grin returning.  
  
Willow, Cordelia and Xander were standing in the kitchen watching the whole scene play out.  
  
"Oh, this is sad!" Cordelia said.  
  
"I know. He is so into her and she is breaking his heart."  
  
Everyone looked at Willow in confusion.  
  
"Wil, I think she was talking about his approach." Xander said.  
  
"I was. Someone really needs to tell him how to attract a woman." Cordelia said.  
  
"Oh. Well, I think he is doing just fine! I mean, he could talk to me like that anyday!" Willow said.  
  
"O-kay!" Xander said. "I think I'll get back to work now."  
  
"Spike, let me put this in a way even you can understand. Even if you were the last man on earth, I would not want you. You disgust me. You are a gross, pig headed, repulsive vampire with no consideration for anyone but yourself. You are the kind of thing that nightmares are made of." Buffy said as she started to walk away.  
  
"Oh, so you've been dreaming about me, have you luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"I said nightmare. Not dream."  
  
"Hey, I'll take what I can get."  
  
"Ugh! Your intollerable!" Buffy said as she disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
"What's up Buffy?"  
  
"Oh Willow, save me!"  
  
"Since when do you need saving? You're Wonder Woman."  
  
"Since the Billy Idol wannabe out there started to hit on me." "Spike?"  
  
"Yes Spike. He is so...so..."  
  
"Hot." Willow said quietly.  
  
"What was that Willow?"  
  
"Oh come on Buffy, you have to admit, he is really hot! I mean with that bleached hair, that gorgeous Brittish accent and that body!"  
  
"I think Willow needs a cold, cold shower!" Xander said.  
  
"He's attractive to look at Willow, but he is a monster! I don't trust him and I certainly don't want to spend any time with him."  
  
"Buffy, it isn't like you havent dated a vampire before. I mean come on, Angel is proof that even a vampire can change."  
  
"Willow, need I remind you that even Angel turned?"  
  
"Well, If you don't want Spike, can I have him?"  
  
"No! You cant trust him Willow. He's bad news!"  
  
"Who's bad news?"  
  
"Your nephew, Giles." Buffy said.  
  
"Yes, he is. But he sure has taken a liking to you Buffy. I have never seen him follow anyone around the way he does you. I mean, look. He's even serenading you!"  
  
Buffy looked out the window looking into the dining room just in time to see Spike jump on one of the counters.  
  
"Buffy, Buffy, your so fine, your so fine you blow my mind! Go Buffy! Go Buffy!" He continued to sing while turning in circles and shaking his rear.  
  
"Oh my gosh! Someone please grab one of my stakes and stab me. Right in the heart that way it goes quickly. Come to think of it, I don't care where you stab me, as long as it works. I would rather suffer the pain then have to listen to this any longer. Hurry!" As she said this, Buffy slid down and sat against the wall.  
  
"Oh come on Buffy, it isn't that bad." Xander said.  
  
"Well, Xander" Buffy started. "If you don't think it will be so bad, why don't you date him? I'm sure the two of you will be very happy together. I don't date vampires anymore!"  
  
"Buffy, he's not..."  
  
"Enough, Giles. I'm not interested. Case closed! I'm going to get ready for tonights patrol."  
  
Buffy walked out of the kitchen into the dining room. As she walked past a still serenading Spike, she shoved him into a row of chairs sending him to the floor hard. She then left the building and headed home.  
  
Spike quickly got up and walked into the kitchen where the rest were standing.  
  
"Bloody hell! I must be doing something wrong." He said.  
  
"Yeah, I think the whole you know you want me bit was definitely the wrong approach." Xander told him.  
  
"Come on Spike. Time to fill you in on what a girl really likes." Cordelia said as she led him outside and to her car by the arm. They drove to her apartment in silence.  
  
"Are you sure this is going to work luv?" Spike asked as he lit a cigarette. The third in the last ten minutes. Spike had a tendency to chain smoke when he was nervous.  
  
"Well, I hope so. I know it would work for me!" Cordelia told him.  
  
"Here goes nothing." Spike said nervously as he walked out of her apartment and started down the street to Buffy's house.  
  
Buffy had just finished patrolling. It had been a slow night. Only one vampire to contend with and he was a light weight. She pushed the key into the lock and opened the door. Once inside, she dropped the keys on the hallway table and plopped down onto the couch. It may have been slow, but she was tired. After the ordeal with Spike, she needed some downtime. She got up and walked toward the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. Just then, there was a knock at the door.  
  
She sighed as she walked toward the door. Upon opening it, she spotted the bleach blonde standing there looking at her.  
  
Spike was so nervous he could hardley breathe. The last woman he had any kind of interest in was Druscilla and although she was beautiful, she was the downfall of Spike. She was the one that turned him into a vampire one lonely summer night, six years ago. He fell hard for her. Gave her all of him. She was his heart, his reason for existence. Then, a year and a half ago, he came home one night and found the Dear John letter saying that he was nothing to her and that she was going back to New York. Apparently her and her ex decided to get back together and Spike was no longer needed. No longer good enough. It almost ruined Spike when she left. He spent the next six months pretty much associating with no one. No one except Giles. Giles was the one that brought him out of his slump and brought him to the realization that things would get better. He couldn't go through that again. His heart wouldn't take it. He felt so vulnerable and terrified that he was about to throw up but he held back knowing that would definitely put off a bad impression.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I...I...um"  
  
"Spit it out Spike, I don't have all night."  
  
He took his hands from behind his back and held out the roses that he had bought for her.  
  
"I wanted to give you these luv. Kind of my way of saying I'm sorry for that whole thing at Giles shop."  
  
"Spike, I cant take those." Buffy told him.  
  
"Well, why bloody not?"  
  
"Because, if I do, it will give you the wrong impression."  
  
"You really do detest me don't you?" He asked.  
  
"No Spike. I don't detest you. I loathe you. I find you repulsive and sickening." She told him. "You're not good enough for me"  
  
"Well then, I guess I had better go luv. Wouldn't want you to lose your dinner on account of me." He dropped the flowers in the doorway. "I got these for you. Keep them or throw them away. I don't bloody care anymore." He walked down the steps and out of sight.  
  
Buffy picked the roses up and felt a pang of regret for being so mean. But she had to. It was the only way he would leave her alone. And she wanted him to leave her alone.  
  
Spike walked into Giles shop. Everyone was sitting around relaxing after a long day. It was now 8:30 and they had closed the soup kitchen thirty minutes ago. Giles held the kitchen every weekend. Kind of his way of giving back to the community.  
  
"That's it! I am so bloody done with that woman!"  
  
"Didn't work?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"She told me I wasn't good enough for her. She might as well have spit in my face."  
  
"Maybe you just need a new approach." Giles said.  
  
"No. I give up. I have tried for the last year to impress her and nothing works. I quit." He said as he sat down.  
  
"Maybe it's your clothes. You know, girls really like pastels." Willow said.  
  
The guys all looked at her with crinkled eyebrows and open mouths.  
  
"Forget it. I am not wearing pink. Besides, my appearance isn't the problem. I am. I'm bloody tired." He got up and walked out of the shop defeated.


	2. The Supermarket

Disclaimer: I still own NOTHING! Although, I would LOVE to own Spike!!

Part Two- The Supermarket.  
  
"How was the patrol last night Buffy?" Giles asked.  
  
"Slow. Only one vampire to fight and one pain in the ass to deal with." She told him while giving Spike the evil eye.  
  
"I need a fag!" Spike said as he stood up.  
  
Xander spit his pop across the room and choked. "Excuse me? Since when are you gay?"  
  
"Fag is British for cigarette Xander." Giles told him.  
  
"Some women are cold enough to turn a bloke gay." Spike said stealing a glance at Buffy.  
  
"Bite me Spike." She told him.  
  
"You wish luv." He responded.  
  
"Enough." Giles told them.  
  
"Oh come on Giles, this is getting good!" Cordelia said.  
  
"Buffy, we need some supplies for the soup kitchen. I need you to go to the supermarket and pick them up for me."  
  
"Gladly." She told him.  
  
"Oh, and take Spike." He told her.  
  
"WHAT?" Buffy and Spike yelled at the same time.  
  
"Some of this stuff is too heavy for you to carry back Buffy and Spike can help."  
  
"That's why we have the car Giles. So we don't have to carry anything back!" She told him.  
  
"Cars in the shop. Go on now."  
  
Buffy and Spike stormed out trying to stare each other down.  
  
"Is the car really in the shop Giles?" Xander asked.  
  
"Nope. It's in my garage." He told him. "Good goin' Giles!" Willow told him.  
  
Both so mad they could hardley contain themselves, Buffy and Spike decided it would be best if they spent the walk in silence. They walked in the door to the supermarket.  
  
"We need a trolley." Spike said.  
  
"A what?" Buffy asked in a tone that would make a rat run for cover.  
  
Spike pointed at something to the left of them. Buffy turned to see what he was pointing at.  
  
"You mean a cart?" She asked him.  
  
"Cart, trolley. Same thing." He told her.  
  
They walked around in silence for a while picking up the items on the list that Giles gave them.  
  
"Are you going to talk to me luv or just pretend I don't exist?" Spike asked.  
  
"I would prefer to pretend you don't exist." She told him.  
  
"Where is the public convenience in this store?" He asked.  
  
"The what?" She asked.  
  
"The restroom. Do they have one here? I have to take a whiz."  
  
"It's back there." She pointed to where the restroom was.  
  
"Thanks. Be right back." Once he got to the restroom, Spike stood at the sink and splashed cold water in his face. Why did he let her get to him like this? Everytime he was around her, she treated him like he was nothing yet he still couldn't help but love her. What was happening to him? He knew why. They had ruined him. They made him what he was and now he was so vulnerable. Why couldn't he go back to when he was cold and unfeeling? Damn them! After about five minutes, he decided he better go find Buffy so they could finish and he could get as far away from her as possible. He walked out of the bathroom and through the store until he finally found her. She was trying to reach the sugar from the top shelf. Standing on her tippy toes, she couldn't quite get it. He reached up with his right hand, grabbed the bag and put it in the cart.  
  
"Thanks." She told him.  
  
"You're welcome." He replied quietly. They finished picking up everything that was on the list and headed to the checkouts. After paying, they walked out of the store. As they started the long walk back to Giles shop, Buffy looked at Spike and rolled her eyes.  
  
"What the hell is your problem anyway?" She asked him.  
  
He looked at her in shock and retorted. "Excuse me? You tell me I am repulsive and sickening and then ask me what MY problem is? What's your problem girlie?"  
  
"I didn't ask for this assignment. I didn't want it and your acting like I stole your favorite victim." She told him.  
  
Mad and confused now, Spike looked at her and stated. "You want to know what my problem is? I'll tell you then. I have tried my best to get along with you and you treat me like I'm some monster!"  
  
"You are a monster Spike. You're a killer!" She replied.  
  
Now more calm, he looked her in the eyes.  
  
"Let me ask you something luv. You have known me for years now. How many people have you seen me kill?"  
  
"I'm not with you all the time Spike. You could be killing a lot of people when I'm not around."  
  
"Ok then, let me ask you this. Have you thought about the fact that it is 11:30 in the morning? And if I am such a bloody monster, why am I helping you?" He asked. "Maybe you should think about that before you judge me slayer!" Spike said as he walked into Giles shop. He dropped the groceries on the kitchen counter and walked out.  
  
She stood there for a long minute thinking before storming into the shop part of the building.  
  
"What the hell is Spikes story, Giles?" She asked with her arms crossed over her chest.  
  
"What do you mean Buffy?" He asked.  
  
"Don't play with me Giles. Since Drusilla turned him six years ago, I have never seen him bite anyone. He helps us fight the demons and vampires. And he went shopping, Giles. At 11:30 in the morning. Without a blanket to cover him! What the hell is going on?" She asked  
  
"Buffy, I think you better sit down." Giles told her. She sat down and looked at Giles for answers.  
  
"Spike isn't what you think he is Buffy. He isn't a monster. You have never seen him bite anyone because he never has. The butcher downtown would save the blood from the hogs he slaughtered and I would take it to Spike. He never wanted to hurt anyone. He refused to. He helps us because he wants to. He wants to be on the right side of the line. Two years ago, the Oracles called for him. When he went to see them, they told him that because of his loyalty and devotion to the innocents, they were returning him to his human form. Buffy, he hasn't been a vampire since then."  
  
Buffy rushed out of the building and over to Spikes apartment as quickly as she could get there. She pounded on the door until she heard him approaching. As soon as he opened the door, she kicked him in the face. He fell back into the glass top of his coffee table causing it to shatter.  
  
"What in bloody hell did you do that for?" He asked. But, instead of getting an answer, all he got was a fist in his stomach.  
  
"What has gotten into you woman?" He asked.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked angrily.  
  
"Tell you what luv?" He asked confused.  
  
"About the Oracles Spike. Why didn't you tell me that you weren't a vampire anymore?"  
  
"You never gave me a bloody chance! You never let me close enough to you to tell you anything let alone hold a conversation!" He told her defensively.  
  
"You let me believe that you were a monster!"  
  
"No! You assumed that I was!"  
  
"You didn't tell me any differently!"  
  
"You never asked! Bugger all woman! You never gave me a chance because I wasn't good enough for you!"  
  
"You led me to believe that you were a monster, Spike."  
  
"Did I? Because I thought I always tried to help you. I did everything I could to help you! What does it bloody matter anyway? It isn't going to make a diff..." Before he could finish what he was saying, Buffy had her arms around his neck and her lips were on his. At first he was afraid to touch her, but he couldn't control himself any longer. His arms quickly went around her waist and he pulled her closer to him kissing her back with more passion than he knew he possessed. Pushing his tongue against her lips begging for entry, he quickly deepened the kiss. His face and body were on fire and he never wanted this to end. This couldn't be real. He had to be dreaming. He opened his eyes expecting her to not really be there, but she was. She pulled away and looked into his eyes. It was brief as she quickly turned around and ran out of his apartment. He knew it was too good to be true. But damn it if it wasn't nice while it lasted.  
  
TBC...


	3. What Was That?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Buffy The Vampire Slayer or Angel. I am just borrowing the characters for a while.

Part Three: What Was That?  
  
Buffy slowly walked into The Magic Shop that Giles owned and sat down at one of the tables. She lay her arms out on the table and put her head down on them. Seeing her like this, Willow walked over to her.  
  
"What's wrong Buffy?"  
  
"I beat up Spike." Buffy told her.  
  
"You always beat up Spike. What's new about that?"  
  
"Then I kissed him." Buffy replied.  
  
"You mean like a light peck on the cheek out of pity for kicking his ass, right?"  
  
"No, I mean total catch him off guard, stars everywhere, confusing and yet very satisfying liplock." Buffy told her.  
  
"Oh. Are you feeling ok Buffy? I thought you hated Spike."  
  
"I did. I do! It was...it was...I know! It was because I didn't get my required five cups of coffee in today. You know how off I am without my required amount of coffee!" She said trying to convince herself more than Willow.  
  
"Yeah, I bet you're right. I mean, I am the same way without my orange tic- tacs." Willow replied.  
  
"I have to go home Wil. I need some time alone to think."  
  
"Oh ok. Well, see you at school tomorrow Buffy." Buffy walked out of the Magic Shop and headed towards home.  
  
"Hey. What's up with the Buffster?" Xander asked Willow.  
  
"She kissed Spike." Willow replied.  
  
"You mean like a friendly peck on the cheek out of pity right?"  
  
"Bloody hell! Just when I get used to the whole "no longer nocternal" thing, she goes and kisses me and I cant sleep anyway!" Spike reached into his pocket and came out empty handed.  
  
"And to top it off, I'm out of smokes! Oh well, cant sleep anyway. Might as well go get some." He got up and walked out of the apartment. She walked down the street wondering what to do. She hated Spike. Didn't she? "Of course I do! Think Buffy. Spike is scum! Scum with really good hair. No! Quit thinking like that! Spike is egotistical. With a body like that who wouldn't be? Argh! Shut up! Spike is rude. With an ass that any girl would be blind not to like. Bad thoughts Buffy! You hate Spike. Quit thinking about his ass! What am I gonna do? I know! I have to hate Spike. Yeah! You hate him anyway Summers. So just act normal." She turned and started walking through the park.  
  
Spike walked through the park in a state of total confusion.  
  
"What the hell happened back there anyway? She kicks me in the face, sends me through my coffee table, decked me in the stomach, kissed me and then ran away. Does she want me or not? If she didn't, she wouldn't have kissed me. But, if she did, she wouldn't have sent me flying into my table causing me to have to pick glass chunks out of my ass! Damn women!"  
  
"Crud! There he is! What am I supposed to do now? Kiss him? No! Cuddle with him? No! Throw him down and ravage him? Hell no! Ooh, panic!"  
  
"Well, well. Here she comes. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Can anyone say akward?"  
  
"Come on Buffy, think! The next thing she knew, she reached out instinctively and made contact.  
  
"What in blazes is wrong with you woman?" Spike yelled as he picked himself up. But, he quickly realized she was no longer there. Mad and very confused, Spike quickly made his way to the 7-11 and back to his apartment. He was in serious need of a smoke, a pair of tweezers and an ice pack!  
  
The next day Buffy had to force herself to make it through her classes. What was wrong with her? Life never used to be this confusing. It didn't have to be now. She would just go on hating Spike and things could go back to normal. Why did she kiss him in the first place? She was furious with him for not telling her the truth one minute and in the liplock of the century with him the next. She really needed to get a grip!  
  
After school was over, she went to The Magic Shop to meet up with the gang and go over the plans for that nights patrol. She needed to patrol. It would help to get her mind off of all of this crap! She really needed a cup of coffee!  
  
"Hey guys."  
  
"Hey Buffster." Xander and Willow had decided not to tell Giles or any of the others about what happened with Spike and Buffy. And they decided not to bring it up to Buffy. She was already confused enough, no need to make it worse. It was just a one time thing anyway. A pity thing. Nothing else.  
  
"What's the plan for tonight's patrol?" She asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee.  
  
"Well, Anya and I are going to take the school." Xander told her.  
  
"Tara and I are taking the mall." Willow said.  
  
"I have to do some research which leaves you and Spike to take the cemetary." Giles told her.  
  
"No way! I am not working with Spike!" Buffy told him.  
  
"Buffy, you work with Spike all the time. Why are you complaining now?" He asked. Willow and Xander looked at each other and then back at Buffy.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it Giles, but I cant work with..."  
  
"Alright woman. What in bloody hell is your problem?"  
  
Buffy and the gang looked up to see that Spike had come in the back door.  
  
"You're my problem Spike."  
  
"Wait a damn minute. You come to my apartment, kick my ass, which I am still picking glass out of, kiss me like you're life depends on it, run out on me and then punch me in the nose causing me to fly into the jungle gym. So now, I have a sore ass, numb lips and a broken nose. There is definitely something wrong with that picture!" Spike yelled.  
  
"You kissed Spike?" Giles asked.  
  
"Go Buffy!" Anya said.  
  
"Spike, I told you I don't want to talk about this. But since you seem to be so hell bent on it, suit yourself! I kicked your ass because you pissed me off. You lied to me and made me think you were something you aren't. I kissed you because I felt sorry for you! You are so pitiful Spike. I mean look at you. You dress like a biker with a severe hair problem. I mean really Spike, you really need to consider adding some color to your wardrobe and no one with half a brain has white hair unless it is natural which yours definitely is not! You're built like a child and your ass is lopsided. I kicked your ass in the park because you looked at me wrong. Word to the wise Spike, keep your eyes to yourself!" Buffy yelled.  
  
"Been lookin' at my ass, have you luv?" Spike said with a smirk on his face.  
  
"Argh! I can't work with him Giles! He's impossible!"  
  
"If I am so damn impossible, then why have you been working with me for the last five years pet?"  
  
"I had no choice! You're Giles nephew!"  
  
"What the hell is going on in here?" Angel asked.  
  
"Buffy and Spike are fighting." Anya said as she walked over and put her arms around his neck.  
  
"What's new? They always fight." Angel said.  
  
"Go away Spike!" Buffy told him.  
  
"Come on luv, you don't really want me to go away and you know it." Spike told her.  
  
"If you wont leave, I will then!" She turned and stormed out.  
  
Giles looked around the room. "That went well."  
  
Two days later...  
  
Buffy sat at her desk in English class. Things had been so much easier now that her and Spike were avoiding each other. She had been doodling little sketches of Spike with stakes through their foreheads on the yellow section separators in her notebook. Ok, so they were stick figures with black clothes and white hair but the stakes were there nonetheless. Each one got a little more detailed. Like one had on a belt, one had on the black boots that Spike was notorious for and one had on a black duster. And with each one, the stake got more detailed with more and more splinters. And on some of them, the stake was in different body parts. His stomach, his heart, even one in his crotch. Buffy had to laugh at that one. She was actually enjoying English for once.  
  
Spike had been trying to make himself think about something other than Buffy. Damn slayer was nothing but trouble anyway. He finally got all the glass out of his rear and his nose was healing nicely. It hurt like hell, but it was healing. He certainly was not going to tell her that it hurt. Not about to give her that satisfaction! He sat down in his favorite recliner and turned on the television. The Young And The Restless was coming on and he had to see what was going to happen with Kevin Fisher. It was starting to get really good now. It was his day off from the Magic Shop and he was going to enjoy it for once! All of a sudden there was a real loud pop noise. He turned just in time to see water pouring out of his ceiling. The pipe busted and the room was flooding fast.  
  
"Bugger me!" He yelled as he tried to put the halves of pipe back together. It was useless. The pipe exploded and pieces of it were everywhere. This was not going to be an easy fix. He ran out the door and down to the Managers office to report it.  
  
Two hours later, Spike had walked into The Magic Shop. He was soaked from head to toe and his boots were squeeking. He looked like a drowned, bleached rat.  
  
"What happened to you?" Tara asked.  
  
"Bloody pipe busted at my apartment."  
  
"How bad?" Xander asked.  
  
"Well let me put it this way. The pipe was in about fifty pieces, the carpet and walls are ruined, half the floor collapsed into the apartment downstairs, and all the electrical outlits and half the wiring has to be redone. They say it will take two months to fix. Until then, I am out of a place to live." He told her.  
  
"Wow! What about all your stuff?" Angel asked.  
  
"Salvage what I can. Most of my clothes were either in the closet or the dresser so that should be fine but a lot of my furniture is destroyed."  
  
"That sucks man! Where are you going to stay?" Xander asked.  
  
"Don't know yet." He replied.  
  
"I would let you stay at my place but I am headed to England for the next couple of months and the carpenters are going to use the time to put in the library and lay new carpeting." Giles told him.  
  
"With the school year ending, we have to clear out of the dorm rooms and there is no way my mom will let me move a guy in." Tara told him.  
  
"Yeah, me either." Willow replied.  
  
"Anya and I are headed to L.A. for the summer." Angel said.  
  
"And my place is so small that I can barely fit into it let alone anyone else." Xander added.  
  
"Oz is going on tour with the band and will be gone for the summer." Tara said.  
  
"Why aren't you going with him Anya?" Willow asked.  
  
"I cant. Doing my Internship in San Francisco this summer."  
  
"Oh yeah. I forgot." Willow replied.  
  
"Thanks guys. I'll figure something out."  
  
"Well, you can always stay at our house Spike. I'm going to be out of town for the summer doing some work for the gallery but there is plenty of room." Joyce said as she rubbed Giles' shoulders. They had been dating the better part of a year now.  
  
"I appreciate that Joyce, but something tells me your daughter might have other ideas."  
  
"Well, if you change your mind, the offer remains Spike."  
  
Just then, Buffy walked in. She dropped her notebook on the table in front of Spike and went for the coffee pot. She had not even noticed him sitting there.  
  
"Interesting pictures pet. Didn't know you could draw so well." He said seeing her stick Spikes.  
  
"Just when I thought this day was actually going to be good you have to show up and shit on it." She said as she walked back to the table and sat down.  
  
"Well, what good would the day be if I couldn't make it a living hell for you?" He asked.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and tried to ignore him.  
  
"Really pet, I didn't know you had this kind of talent. I really like the one where I am hanging from the bridge with the spike in stake in my gut and all my intestines hanging out."  
  
"That was my favorite one too." She told him.  
  
"This is truly impressive. I mean look at the detail in the stakes. They look like pickles with hair." Spike said.  
  
"They do not!" She said as she grabbed the notebook out of his hands. "I guess they kind of do don't they?"  
  
"That's ok luv, it's the thought that counts! You wouldn't kill me anyway." Spike told her.  
  
"You're right Spike. I wouldn't kill you. It would take too much energy that I could put into someone who is actually worth it." She replied.  
  
Spike looked over to where Giles and Joyce, who were both oblivious to the whole conversation, were sitting. "You know Joyce, I think I'll take you up on that offer. After all, a guy has to have a place to live."  
  
"Great Spike. You can bring your stuff on over." Joyce told him.  
  
"I better go get my things packed up. I'll be there in a couple of hours. Thanks Joyce." He told her as he stood up.  
  
"What are you talking about Spike?" Buffy asked, her eyes wide. He gave her an evil smile and walked out.  
  
"What the hell is he talking about mom?"  
  
"Oh, Spike is going to be staying at our house for a couple of months." Joyce told her.  
  
"What is wrong with his place?" Buffy asked exasporated.  
  
"A pipe blew out and his apartment is destroyed. He cant go back until it's fixed. See honey, you will have a roommate while I'm gone."  
  
Buffy slumped down in her chair, crossed her arms and proceeded to pout. "Oh frickin joy!"


	4. Moving In

My Darling, My Vampire.

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Although I wish Spike were mine! Life just isnt fair!!

Part Four- Moving In  
  
Spike showed up at the Summers' house a few hours later with the few belongings that didn't get destroyed when the pipe busted at his apartment. He knocked and waited patiently for Buffy to answer the door. He wasn't about to tell her, but he was incredibly nervous. He had never been in her house before and considering how he felt about her, he was a bit uncomfortable living under the same roof.  
  
Since he had gotten his soul back, Spike was vulnerable. To vulnerable. He hated it. After all, he was supposed to be the big bad! Nothing was supposed to bother him. Without even realizing it, he began to chant to himself.  
  
'I'm the big bad! Nothing is going to get in my way or bother me. No bloody woman is gonna get the best of me. I'm the big bad! I'm the big bad!'  
  
"Looks to me like the big bad is a big dud!" A soft voice said.  
  
Spike looked up and saw Buffy standing at the door looking at him with an amused look on her face. "I..uh..what?" Spike stammered.  
  
"And not too good at communication skills either."  
  
"What the bloody hell are you talking about slayer?" Spike was now embarassed and a bit irritated at the intrusion.  
  
"Do you always chant to yourself Spike or is it all part of the I'm the big bad hear me roar! thing?" She asked sarchastically.  
  
"Sod off slayer." Spike wanted to kick himself. You couldn't come up with anything better than that? Why don't you just put on the little cheerleading outfit while you're at it you pathetic wanker!"  
  
"Ooh! It must have taken you weeks to come up with that witty response. Tell me Spike, what are the prerequisites?"  
  
"For what slayer?"  
  
"You know. For the Big Bad in Training program? Obviously verbal skills aren't required."  
  
That was it. He had tried to make this as civil as possible but he wasn't going to run like a dog with its tail between its legs. He would rather sleep in a mine field than take her crap without at least defending himself. "True verbal skills aren't required but there are rules."  
  
"Oh and what would they be? No regard for anyone but yourself?"  
  
"No. Regard is allowed but skanky ho's are forbidden. Guess that kind of leaves you out slayer." Spike smirked.  
  
"How dare you call me a skanky ho!" She fumed.  
  
"Well, if the stench fits slayer." He pushed himself past her and into the house. Just the thought of the look on her face brought a smile to his.  
  
Buffy walked in the house and slammed the door. "Spike!" She yelled.  
  
"Skank!" He replied almost cheerfully.  
  
"I would so love to throw you out right now but since my mother, poor diluted soul that she is, invited you to stay here, your room is downstairs. Take your crap down there and stay out of my way!"  
  
"So I get the basement 'ey luv?"  
  
"Yeah, the whole basement. What will you do with yourself?"  
  
"Don't worry about me slayer. Just thinking of ways to make your life a living hell will keep me pretty busy."  
  
She huffed. "Think you can handle it?" She asked sarchastically.  
  
"I think I can manage. After all, Big Bad in Training University taught us how to deal with pains in the asses and skanky ho's."  
  
"I meant living here you twit! Have you always been this big of a pain?" She asked now thouroughly agitated.  
  
"What can I say baby? I've always been bad!" Spike replied.  
  
"Well now that I'm thouroughly disgusted, I'm going to go take a bath. Stay out of my way Spike." She turned around and stormed upstairs. Mumbling the whole way, Spike made his way downstairs to his new room. It was big. There was a bedroom with bed, dresser, closet and bed table with an alarm clock on it. There was a room off of the bedroom with a TV, VCR, DVD Player, couch, recliner and coffee table. There was also a bathroom and a small kitchen. Not too bad. It sure was bigger than he expected it to be.  
  
He walked over and lay on the bed. Thinking back to the argument that just happened between them, Spike was able to come to a conclusion. It was going to be a very long summer! The bad thing was that no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that she deserved to be called a skanky ho, he couldn't help but feel guilty. The very thought of feeling sorry for her was sickening. 'What in bloody hell is happening to me?' He closed his eyes to try to push out the headache that was quickly forming and in a matter of seconds, he was asleep.  
  
Buffy climbed out of the bathtub and wrapped the towel around her. She grabbed another off the towel rack and wrapped it up in her hair. She forgot her robe in her room and was praying she could make it to her room without Spike seeing her. The last thing she needed was him seeing her half naked. Although she wouldn't mind seeing him that way. 'Buffy! Quit thinking of Spike naked!'  
  
She quickly made herself to her bedroom and closed the door behind her. After getting dressed and brushing out her hair, Buffy lay on her bed and tried to relax.  
  
'He called me a skanky ho! The nerve of that jerk. I cant stand him. So why do I feel guilty?'  
  
Before having a chance to think about it anymore, she was fast asleep.  
  
They had both been too busy fighting with each other to see the Alsheatow demon watching them from behind the tree. It had come to his attention that there was a couple in Sunnydale that needed working on. Lok Gordor was sent to teach them a lesson. They had slayed his uncle and it was payback time. This was going to be fun!  
  
What was that noise? Buffy sat us quickly and listened. After hearing nothing, she quickly threw on her robe and walked downstairs to do a quick scan of the house. Nothing. Deciding she better go and see if it was Spike, she quietly walked into the basement. Once she got down there, she noticed Spike laying on the bed. For some odd reason, her nose began to go haywire and started twitching.  
  
"I must be allergic to roaches." She told herself. She began to turn around to go back upstairs when something began to pull at her. Before she knew it, she was standing beside him. Then she leaned down.  
  
Spike heard her walk in the room but decided to pretend to be asleep. That way he wouldn't actually have to talk to her. He kept his eyes closed and waited for her to leave. But for some reason, the footsteps were coming toward him instead of going away. All of a sudden, he felt a sharp pain in his cheek.  
  
"You bit me! You bloody bit me! What has gotten into you slayer and what is up with your nose?" Her nose was twitching like crazy. It was as if she was part bunny or something.  
  
Buffy quickly came out of the trance she was in and looked at Spike who was just inches from her. Why was he so close? She looked down and realized she was leaning over him.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
"Yeah slayer! What's wrong with you?" He asked starting to get concerned. "And why in bloody hell do I care?"  
  
"I...uh.." Before she could finish her statement, the noise came back.  
  
"Did you hear that?" Spike asked. Buffy didn't answer though as she was too focused on Spike. "Why you lookin' at me that way luv?" He asked.  
  
"Your ears!"  
  
"What about 'em pet?"  
  
"They're floppy!" She replied.  
  
Two hours later, Spike and Buffy sat in the living room. They had tried to figure out what was happening to them.  
  
"Ok, lets go over this one more time. My nose is twitching, my feet are huge and furry and I have a tail. And you have floppy ears, huge furry feet and a tail. Something or someone is going to a lot of trouble to turn us into..." She trailed off still in shock.  
  
Spike looked up and realized how cute she looked with a twitchy nose and big floppy feet. He said the only thing there was to say. "Bunnies!" 


	5. Midnight Snack

My Darling, My Vampire.

Disclaimer: Unfortainately, I own nothing! However, that doesnt mean I cant try! And believe me, I will! So stay out of my way or there will be heck to pay!! No one gets between me and Spike without losing at least a finger! Dont push me! I mean it!

Part Five: Midnight Snack  
  
Buffy sat on the couch looking at Spike. She let out a deep sigh. "Ok, we've been trying to figure this out for two hours and have come up with nothing."  
  
"You know pet, I don't think we'll be able to patrol like this. Bunnies just aren't real intimidating ya know?"  
  
"Crap! You're right. I guess the rest of the Scoobies will have to do it for a while."  
  
"Little problem there luv. They are all gone for the summer."  
  
"Ugh! I'm getting a headache Spike!" Buffy said with exasporation.  
  
"Yeah me too. Look, I'm tired and out of smokes. Think I'll go to bed and we can figure this out tomorrow." He stood up and started out of the room.  
  
"I really don't think we should be alone until we find out what caused this Spike."  
  
Spike grinned to himself and stepped toward Buffy. "You know luv, if you want to sleep with me, all you have to do is say so."  
  
Rolling her eyes, yet fighting the urge to take him up on that offer, Buffy looked at Spike. "Hardly Spike! I just think we ought to stay close. You can sleep on the couch and I will take the recliner. There will be no sleeping together!"  
  
They both lay down and tried to sleep.  
  
Thirty minutes later:  
  
"Spike? You asleep?"  
  
"Nope. Cant seem to sleep with this huge furry ball sticking out of my ass."  
  
"Yeah, I know the feeling. You hungry?" She asked feeling her stomach growl.  
  
"Actually, now that you mention it, I am a little peckish."  
  
"Come on, we can go raid the kitchen."  
  
They walked into the kitchen. Spike went to the fridge and looked inside while Buffy stormed the pantry.  
  
"What sounds good Babs?" Spike asked.  
  
"Babs?"  
  
"Yeah, you know. Like Babs bunny." He told her with a wink. She laughed slightly and said. "Surprise me Buster."  
  
Grabbing some food items and a couple cans of pepsi, Spike headed to the table.  
  
"Come on, we can eat in the living room. It's more comfortable." Buffy told him. They grabbed their items and headed to the living room. Spike sat on the couch quickly followed by Buffy.  
  
She was just about to say something when Spike shoved something into her mouth. Unsure of what it was but surprised at how good it tasted, she chewed it up and swallowed.  
  
"What was that Spike?" She asked him.  
  
"Sure you wanna know pet?"  
  
Thinking for a second, she looked at him. "Yeah."  
  
"Ok then, it was cold pizza dipped in double dutch ice cream and topped with salsa and onion powder."  
  
"That sounds awful Spike!" She told him.  
  
"That's why I didn't tell you before. Knew you wouldn't try it. Pretty good though hu?"  
  
"Actually, yeah. Here, try this." She told him as she put peanut butter, pickles, banannas, and honey between two pieces of bread and handed it to him.  
  
"Try anything once." He said as he bit into it amazed at how good it tasted.  
  
"Pretty good pet." He told her.  
  
"Got anymore of that pizza stuff?" She asked. He grinned and handed it to her before fixing himself one of those sandwiches. They sat there for an hour and a half talking and enjoying each others company.  
  
Buffy reached behind her and grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She lit one and handed it to him before lighting one for herself. Looking at her funny but not complaining, Spike took the cigarette and proceeded to smoke it.  
  
"Since when do you smoke pet?"  
  
"For about the last two years. I just don't do it socially." She told him as she took a drag. They continued to talk for another ten minutes.  
  
"It's 3:45 in the morning and I'm getting kinda tired." She told him. "Yeah, me too." They both lay down and Buffy turned off the lamp.  
  
"Night Buster." She said.  
  
Spike grinned. "Night Babs." 


	6. Confessions

My Darling, My Vampire.  
  
Written by Roswell4ever1  
  
**DISCLAIMER: I STILL OWN NOTHING! HOWEVER, in case you didnt pay attention to my last warning, if you try to come between Spike and me, you will not only lose a finger or two, but your nose will fall off, your toilet will flood your house, you're hair will stand up on end and you will turn to dust! Listen to me now! Save yourself! Stay away from Spike and all will be forgotten. Come near and face great troubles!**

Part Six: Confessions  
  
Three Weeks Later:  
  
Buffy began to wake up but just wasn't ready to get up yet. She had let her eyes close again when she heard the front door open. Looking up, she saw Spike walking in carrying some bags.  
  
"Morning." She said groggily.  
  
"Afternoon luv." Spike replied.  
  
"Afternoon? What time is it?"  
  
"About 12:15."  
  
"How come you didn't wake me up?"  
  
"You looked like you could use the rest. Sides, nothing exciting goin' on anyway."  
  
"I guess I must have been really tired." Looking up at Spike, Buffy began to giggle.  
  
"What's so soddin funny?"  
  
"Spike, your face is gettin furry."  
  
"Well that explains things."  
  
"What do you mean Spike?"  
  
"Well, when I went to the doughnut shop, instead of charging me, the guy just threw the box of doughnuts at me and said "have lunch on me." I have to admit, there were times when that would have really tempted me. You know, the whole vampire thing but now it was just plain sickening."  
  
Buffy got up and walked over to Spike. She began to touch the hair on his face. Feeling like he was suddenly on display, spike asked "When is this gonna quit pet? I've done a lot of dumb things in my life but do I really deserve to be a bunny? Do you?" Spike began to pout.  
  
Buffy hugged him to her and tried to calm him down. "Neither one of us deserves this Spike but it is something we have to deal with. Now, I know you're upset, I am too but we aren't ever gonna get rid of this if we don't do some research to see what caused it in the first place."  
  
A bit confused at the way Buffy had been acting the past couple of days, there was only one thing for Spike to say. "Why you bein so nice to me slayer? You can't stand me. I'm a monster remember? So why now? I mean is it one of those things where you are nice to me while we are in this situation and in you're house but as soon as it is over and we're around your friends I go back to bein dirt?" Ok, so he had several things to say. So sue me!  
  
Thinking about what Spike just said to her, Buffy began to cry. Being in the whole "bunny" state and not being able to do anything about it had made her very emotional anyway but now it was just suddenly increased.  
  
Spike saw her start to cry and felt a pang of guilt. No matter how badly she had treated him in the past, he hated to see her upset. It nearly killed him. "I wasn't tryin to make you cry luv. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."  
  
"Yes, you should have. Gosh, I really have been a bitch haven't I? I...I'm sorry Spike. I'm sorry." With that, she turned and ran upstairs leaving a very confused Spike. Spike decided that they needed to get rid of this spell so maybe things could go back to normal. He could tell what it was doing to Buffy and he knew what it was doing to him. But at the same time, he hated to get rid of it in a way. While they had been in bunny mode, they had actually bonded a little and it was nice. He didn't want it to end but he knew that there were other factors to consider. Like patrolling, going out in public and most importantly, Buffy. He would do anything for her and she needed to go back to normal.  
  
Taking the stairs two at a time, Spike stopped outside her bedroom door. "Slayer." No response. "Slayer?" Still nothing. "Buffy?" Spike guessed that she was probably either in the bathtub or in her room and ignoring him. Either way, there was no sense in him standing here twiddling his thumbs. He started to walk away when he heard her door open. Turning around, he saw Buffy standing in her doorway. Her face was tear streaked and her eyes bloodshot.  
  
Not knowing what else to say, Spike said simply. "You ok?"  
  
Buffy walked over and sat down on the top stair holding a book in her hands. "What happened to me Spike?"  
  
"What do you mean luv?"  
  
"Before I found out I was the slayer, I was accepting to everyone. I was open and loving and I tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt whether they deserved it or not. But since I gained slayer status, I've become hard. I am harsh and uncaring. I am mean to everyone. Especially those who don't deserve it. I have turned into a royal bitch Spike."  
  
"No you haven't. You're careful, that's all. You do what you have to do to protect those you love. That is one of you're best qualities Buffy."  
  
"If that's the case Spike, then how come I wasn't able to protect you? If I really protect those I love why did this happen to you and why couldn't I stop it?"  
  
In total shock at what she has just said and grabbing the pack of cigarettes from his duster pocket, Spike lit one and sat there in silence wondering what to say and feeling like a wanker for saying nothing. Finally, not being able to take the silence anymore, Spike looked at her. "Buffy, you didn't make this happen to us. There was nothing you could do to stop it or prevent it."  
  
"Yes, there was. I could have prevented this."  
  
Even more confused than ever before, Spike looked into her eyes. "What do you mean luv?  
  
Buffy handed Spike the book she had been holding.  
  
"The Alsheatow Demon. Nasty lookin booger hu? But this doesn't tell us anything Buffy, it's just a picture."  
  
"Yes, but I looked it up in the Watcher's journals and found out some important information."  
  
"You have the Watcher's journals here?"  
  
"Well no, not the actual journals, but I have them all on disk. It is like a large Journal database that I can click into whenever I need information that can't be found in these stuffy old books."  
  
"Why didn't you use them on any of the other cases?"  
  
"Giles just gave them to me before he left for England."  
  
"Good ol Rupert. Wait til the last minute and then come through."  
  
"Yeah well, he tries."  
  
"Ok, so what did it say about Alsheatow?"  
  
"The Alsheatow demons are a rare species. They are not evil. As a matter of fact, they fight against the evil. A couple of months ago, I faced one of them."  
  
His mind beginning to click, Spike said. "Yeah, that was at the school right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"But that demon was clearly not good pet."  
  
"No he wasn't. Every family has a bad seed. He was that seed. He was being exiled from the family and was royally pissed off about it so he went to the school in search of kids. He blamed children for his exile. How was it he put it? Oh yeah, "precious little kiddies just getting in the way of good ol fashioned evil. Children must die."  
  
"Pleasant guy wasn't he?"  
  
"Yeah well, I was walking to the school to pick up Dawn when I saw the guy hiding in the shadows. We fought for a while and by the time it was over, he was dust."  
  
"You know pet, I am for listening to a good demon dusting story anytime but I really am missing where this is connected to this whole bunny fix."  
  
"Well, that's just it Spike. I don't know why I didn't put this together before. Anyway, the family wanted revenge for me killing this guy."  
  
"Wait a minute, the good guys wanted revenge for you killin the big evil?"  
  
"It isn't really revenge. It seems like it at the time, but in the long run, it isn't. I know that doesn't make much sense, but just bear with me a minute and all will be explained."  
  
Spike nodded waiting to hear the rest of the story.  
  
"Because the Alsheatow demons are not evil, they in a way keep watch on the slayer. Kind of a protection. They know me. They see me as being hard and shut off. They did this to us to try to get me to open up. The spell will only end when I have opened my heart again. I have been pushing everyone away Spike. Willow, Xander, Tara, Giles, Anya and you. I haven't talked to my mom since she left and before that, I may have had one good conversation with her in the last two months. I put up this wall and I swore no one would break through it. I had to be tough. I had to be closed off. At least that's what I thought. But I was wrong and now I have all these hurt people who I have spent so much time pushing away. And most of them kept their distance. Willow and I barely talk anymore and Giles left because he thought I needed some time. But you never gave up on me. No matter how badly I treated you, you refused to stay in the shadows. You continued to show up every night to help me patrol and you always treated me like a person. Not a slayer. You saw me Spike and in return, I used you. I'm killing you Spike." Buffy had tears streaming down her cheeks again.  
  
Reaching over and wiping the tears away, Spike told her. "You have not used me Buffy. You didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do."  
  
"I was nice to you as long as you were helping me but as soon as the demons were gone, I treated you like dirt."  
  
"Buffy, listen to me. You have an incredible responsibility, being the slayer and all. It is not an easy job. Your under a lot of stress and are bound to have bad days. But you did not use me. I knew what I was signing up for when I decided to help. And yeah, you have said some mean things, but it is nothing I cant handle. You haven't killed me Buffy, you brought me to life. You gave me a reason to continue. A reason to want to live and if loving you is death, then it is the sweetest death a man can go through. I love you Buffy and nothing you have done or could do could ever change that. I'm drowning in you."  
  
Looking up at Spike, Buffy was beginning to feel much better. "I love you too Spike."  
  
Spike put his hand on her cheek and pulled her to him and kissing her gently. Buffy snaked her hand around to the back of his head and pulled him closer. She had been in love with Spike for well over a year now and now she could finally be with him. Spike suddenly pulled away confusing Buffy and making her think something was wrong.  
  
"Spike? What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing pet. You're ears, they're normal again and your big floppy feet are gone. You're you again luv." Taking in what he was telling her and looking at herself, she realized he was right. She looked back up at Spike to see that he had gone back to normal also. Hugging Spike to her and squealing, Buffy told him "It's over! The spell is finally gone."  
  
Still a little apprehensive and wondering if she would drop him now that the spell was gone, Spike looked down at his feet. Just then the phone rang. "I'll be right back Spike." Buffy said getting up and running downstairs. Spike just continued to sit there and wait for her return. Buffy came running back up the stairs two minutes later and looked at Spike. "That was Giles. He came back early and he, Willow, Xander and Tara are coming over. They'll be here in about ten minutes." Spike nodded.  
  
Buffy noticed that Spike was just staring at his feet and not saying anything. Having a feeling what this was about, she sat back down beside him. Taking his hand in hers, she began to speak. "Spike, look at me." He looked up and met her eyes with his. "Just because the spell is gone, nothing is going to change. I love you. That was not that spell talking, it was me. You don't have anything to worry about. I am not going to just throw you away. I love you and I want you here with me."  
  
"You really mean that pet?" He asked her. Before she had a chance to answer, the doorbell rang. Giving him a smile and running back down the stairs, Buffy quickly opened the door. After saying hi and giving everyone a hug, Buffy had everyone walk into the livingroom. Spike had come down the stairs and was sitting on the couch. Buffy suddenly stood up and looked at everyone.  
  
"Listen up everyone. There is something I need to tell you all. I want you to know that although I want all of your opinions, nothing is going to change my mind or make anything different."  
  
"I'm not liking the sound of this Buffy." Giles said.  
  
"Yeah, me either." Willow said and Tara nodded in agreement.  
  
"I am not asking you to like anything Giles, what I am asking is for you to listen. Spike and I are together. I love him and I am going to be with him whether you like it or not. Now, you can either accept him or leave because if you want me, you get us both. We are now a package deal and I will not give him up because someone else doesn't approve."  
  
Spike sat there now knowing that what she told him before was true. If he ever doubted it before, he didn't now.  
  
Giles began to giggle followed by Willow, Tara and Xander.  
  
"What's so funny?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Buff, we already knew the two of you would end up together." Xander told her.  
  
"You did?" Spike asked.  
  
"Well, yeah. It has been obvious for a long time that you two were macking on each other whether you admitted it to each other or not." Giles replied.  
  
"It was that obvious?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Oh yeah!" They all said in unison.  
  
"Congratulations you two. You are perfect for each other." Willow said.  
  
"Couldn't have said it better myself!" Tara responded.  
  
"So Giles, what are you doing back so soon?" Buffy asked.  
  
Not wanting her to know that he never went to England in the first place, Giles lied his way through it. "Uh, well, I missed it here." He knew that if he let it slip that he never went, then it wouldn't be long before Buffy or Spike or both realized that he had gone in and loosened the pipe in Spikes apartment causing the bust and that he and Joyce had this whole thing planned. They had felt like Buffy and Spike would be good for each other and since Buffy and Spike couldn't seem to realize it, they needed a little push.  
  
"Um, Giles." Spike said.  
  
"Yeah Spike?"  
  
"I went to my apartment this morning to see how far they were on fixing it." He stood up then walked towards the kitchen. Giles followed. He couldn't possibly know! Giles told himself. No, he was just filling him in on the progress.  
  
"And?" Giles asked.  
  
"And I just thought you might want this back." Spike said as he handed a package to Giles. He then winked at Giles and walked back to the living room.  
  
Opening the package, Giles nearly passed out right there. For he was holding a pipe wrench with the name Rupert Giles engraved into the handle.  
  
TBC...


	7. Trouble

My Darling, My Vampire  
  
Written by Roswell4ever1  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Ok, so I wont remove any fingers or toes. However, if you try to take Spike from me, your car will disappear, your cat will start barking and you will have to live the rest of your life wondering what that strange rash is and what it is doing there!  
  
Part Seven- Trouble.  
  
An hour after Buffy told Giles, Willow, Tara and Xander about her and Spike, the gang all sat around her living room watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 and eating popcorn. Spike was at a total loss for words, which had never happened to him before! The Scoobies had usually tried to be nice to him but they had never really included him in their group before. This felt strange and in a sense suffocating to him. He had to step out for a minute and get some air.  
  
Leaning over to Buffy, he whispered into her ear. "I'll be right back." Looking at him, Buffy simply said "Ok." Twenty minutes later, and still no Spike, Buffy was beginning to get concerned. She got up and excused herself from the group. Walking towards the back door, Buffy wondered why she hadn't gone to check before. She knew when he told her he was going outside that something was wrong. She could see it in his eyes. He was conflicted about something and she thought maybe he just needed some time to himself. But now she was getting worried. She shook her head and muttered to herself "I'm turning into one of those possessive girlfriends. Oh, the curse of love."  
  
She walked out the door and looked around for Spike. It took her a minute to realize he was sitting in the gazeebo. Walking over to him she said. "What's up Buster?" Looking back at her, he smiled. "You do know pet, that you are the only one who can call me that!"  
  
"Does it bother you?" She asked. "No. I like it coming from you." He replied. "So, what's wrong?" "Who said anything was wrong?" "Spike, I have known you long enough to know when something has you upset. Now spill." She said. "I'm just not used to being one of the gang. They usually try to be nice to me, but I have never really been included before now and I don't really know how to take it." He put his head down and started to concentrate on the zippo lighter in his hand.  
  
"Spike look at me." Buffy said. When he looked up, she continued. "Giles and Xander are two of the most critical people I have ever met in my life. They don't accept people easily. Even when asked to. But, they accepted you a long time ago. You must have done something right."  
  
"Giles is my uncle luv, he has to accept me."  
  
"Xander isn't related to you and he accepted you. Besides, I have seen Giles be pretty darned unaccepting to family before and he isn't that way to you. They like you Spike. All of them. You are as much a part of this group as I am." Spike looked into Buffy's eyes. She had the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen. Like the sky on a perfectly cloudless day. He half expected to see a bird fly through them. Six months ago if he had looked into her eyes, he would have seen loathing, hatred. But now...now it was different. They were softer and somehow full of love...for him. "I don't deserve you." He said. "But I am sure as hell thankful that I have you. I love you Buffy."  
  
"I love you too Spike." Buffy leaned over and hugged him closely to her. Spike leaned back just enough to be looking her in the eyes again, then moved in and kissed her gently on the mouth. When the kiss broke, Buffy looked at Spike. "Come on Buster. Lets go join OUR friends and have some fun." Liking the sound of that, Spike smiled at her and said "Ok."  
  
After the movie was over, they all sat down and played a game of Trivia Pursuit. Giles won of course but they had a good time. Buffy stood up and addressed the group for the second time that night.  
  
"Umm, you guys?" They all looked up at her. "Yeah?" Willow asked.  
  
"I just wanted to apologize to all of you. I haven't been a very good friend lately. I have become hard and have been pushing everyone close to me away. I don't want it that way though. I need you guys. All of you. I am really sorry if I hurt or offended anyone."  
  
They all looked at her. "Buffy, I don't think anyone was offended." Xanxer said. "You've been under a lot of stress lately and it is understandable that you would need some time for yourself."  
  
"Yeah!" Willow agreed. "You're my best friend Buffy and if you need time to yourself, then so be it!" Tara looked at Buffy and nodded.  
  
"That's right." Giles agreed. "Being the slayer isn't an easy job. It comes with a lot of responsibility and every slayer needs time to regroup. I have yet to see a slayer that hasn't gone through it."  
  
"Thanks guys. Oh, one more thing. Giles, when did you start using phrases like macking on each other?"  
  
Giving a sly grin, Giles simply replied. "Well, you use it all the time. Didn't think you'd mind if I borrowed it." Buffy giggled then looked at her watch. "9:30. Guess I better get some patrolling in." She walked over to the chest where her weapons were.  
  
"You want us to come along Buffster?" Xander asked. "Nah, you guys go on home. I have Spike and my cell phone with me. If we need anything, I'll let ya know."  
  
"Ok, well you guys be careful." Tara told them. Everyone said their goodbyes and they all left.  
  
Spike and Buffy were walking through the cemetery. It was a quiet night. "Spike?" Buffy said.  
  
"Yeah Pet?" "Tell me about Drusilla?" She said it in more of a question than a statement. Just in case he didn't want to discuss it. "What do you want to know?" "Whatever you don't mind telling."  
  
"Well, I met Dru six years ago. April 19th, 1998 to be exact. I was sitting in the park painting. It was around 6:30 that night. Just starting to get dark. I used to love to paint that time of night. The sun was setting and shining off the water from the fountain. She walked over to me and was looking at my painting. I thought she would be like everyone else who would walk up, look and walk away. But she didn't. She just kept standing there. I was shy back then so I didn't say anything. Just kept painting. She commented about how she liked it and asked if she could sit and watch me paint. Not knowing what to say but not wanting to be rude, I told her she could. After I finished the painting, I gave it to her and she left. The next night I ran into her again. This time was a little different though. I was more comfortable and she could sense it. She came up behind me and leaned down to where I was sitting. She started to kiss my neck which, ok I'm a man, I liked it. Before I really had time to react, she bit me. That was the night I was turned." He paused for a minute to light a cigarette and then continued.  
  
"We were together for a long time. She was the only one who really understood me. Who accepted me. She didn't call me a disgrace when she found out I wouldn't bite for blood like a lot of them did. She stood by me. I loved her. Bloody hell, I loved her. One night, two years later, I had been out getting blood. When I got back to the crypt, I heard a noise. When I walked to the back, where the noise was coming from, there was Dru, with Angel in our bed. She left that night and I never saw her again. It took me six months before I could even go out after that. Giles would bring me blood and cigarettes and whatever else I needed. After that, I realized I had to move on. That's when I started helping you and the Scoobies." He stopped for a minute to stomp out his cigarette.  
  
"You know it had been going on for a while." Buffy said. "He told me right before he left that he and Drusilla had been together for a few months. Right under our noses. I was so mad. I even blamed you for a while."  
  
"Me?" Spike asked confused. "What did I do Pet?"  
  
"Nothing. But it was easier to blame everyone other than myself for why he ran off with her. So, I did. I blamed you for bringing her around. Then I decided it must have been my fault. I must have done something to cause it." She told him while kicking a pebble across the ground.  
  
Stopping, Spike grabbed her hand and turned her to face him. "It wasn't your fault luv. It wouldn't have mattered if you had changed everything about yourself. He still would have left. He turned Dru. They had a connection and nothing would have stopped them from running off together."  
  
"You know what though?" She asked him. "What?" "I'm glad they ran off together because now I have you. And I wouldn't change that for anything." "Me either luv." He started to lean down to kiss her when a voice came from behind them.  
  
"Oh, isnt that sweet? An ex-vampire and the Slayer." Turning around, Buffy and Spike came face to face with three vampires ready for the kill. Buffy looked at the group and rolled her eyes. "Wow. Ya know, it isn't polite to eavesdrop peoples conversations. Downright rude actually." Doing a fast spin kick, Buffy kicked the first vamp in the face sending him flying into the nearest tombstone. She was headed for the second when she began to feel disoriented. She tried to shake it off but was getting weaker by the second. She couldn't move. She tried to call Spike but couldn't do that either. Before she knew it, she had collapsed to the ground. Spike was in a one on one battle with one of the other vamps when he looked over at Buffy. Quickly sending a stake through the heart of the vamp, Spike tried to get to her, but was cut off at the pass by another vamp. He did a fast squat, spin kick to the back of the vamps knees knocking him to the ground and shoved the stake into him. Running over toward Buffy, Spike staked the last remaining vamp who was still trying to get up from when Buffy kicked him.  
  
Spike ran over to Buffy. "Buffy? Buffy? Pet?" He was getting no response. Buffy was moving like she was in pain but couldn't seem to even hear Spike. Scooping her up, he ran as fast as he could back to her house. "Hang on pet. We'll fix this. Whatever it is." Trying not to panic, he fidgited with the lock and finally got the door open. Once inside, he ran over and lay Buffy on the couch and hurried for the phone dialing the first number that came to mind.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Giles, it's me. Grab you're books and get over here now. It's Buffy." TBC... 


	8. Sacrifices

My Darling, My Vampire. By Ann (aka Roswell4ever1)  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing! IF YOU TRIED TO TAKE SPIKE FROM ME, AND THAT RASH HAS DISAPPEARED, REST ASSURED I AM NOT FINISHED WITH YOU! YOU HAVE SEEN NOTHING YET! YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE PICTURES OF HOW YOUR HAIR LOOKS NOW WHILE YOU STILL HAVE ANY! DO NOT TAKE THIS LIGHTLY! IT HAS JUST BEGUN! BEWARE, IF YOU LIKE THE WAY YOU LOOK AND DO NOT WANT TO FACE FUTURE RASHES AND MISSING HAIR, LEAVE SPIKE ALONE! HE IS MINE! OH YEAH, AND THAT NASTY CRUD ON YOUR FINGERNAILS AND FUNGUS BETWEEN YOUR TOES? ME!  
  
Part Eight- Sacrafices  
  
Twenty minutes later, Giles showed up at the door with books in hand and Willow by his side. They all rushed into the living room where Buffy still lay on the couch moaning. "She's been like that since she collapsed but she wont talk." Spike said as he sat on the floor beside the couch and held onto Buffy's hand.  
  
"Ok, get back. Give me a few minutes and I will see if I can figure out what happened." Willow said as she placed her hand on Buffy's head. She closed her eyes and sat there for about five minutes humming. When she pulled away, she had a concerned look on her face.  
  
"What is it?" Spike asked, not liking how Willow looked.  
  
"Ayola."  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
"Ayola is a demon." Giles said. "It manipulates the blood system in the body causing the blood to turn to stone. It moves very quickly and is extremely painful. We havent much time."  
  
"How long is not much time?" Spike asked.  
  
"Maybe fifteen minutes." Willow answered.  
  
"How in bloody hell do we fix it?" Spike asked. He was now pacing the room and had the sudden urge to break something.  
  
"Well, the only way is to transport it into another body, but it isnt easy and is very dangerous." Willow told him.  
  
Spike stood still for a minute then walked over to where Willow stood. "Put it in me."  
  
"What!?" Giles hollared.  
  
"Put it in me." Spike repeated.  
  
"Spike, it will kill you." Willow said.  
  
"I dont bloody give a damn. Put it in me. Get it out of her and put it in me. You have to save her Willow. You have to. Promise me you will save her." Spike pleaded, a tear running down his cheek.  
  
"I will Spike, but there has to be another way." She replied.  
  
"We dont have time to find another way. She is dying. It has to be done now." Spike said.  
  
Willow looked over at Giles. She knew there had to be another way but Spike was adament that she use him. Giles had a very troubled look on his face. Spike was his nephew and the one person Buffy really loved. This couldnt happen. Giles couldnt speak. However this went, he would either be losing his nephew or his slayer. Both of which were very important to him.  
  
Buffy began to moan louder and the demon was causing her veins to stick out. They were becoming like stone. Her teeth were gritted in pain and she was beginning to fade.  
  
"Now damnit! Do it now!" Spike yelled.  
  
Willow began the spell as Spike walked over to kiss Buffy one last time. He bent down and kissed her on the lips before whispering to her. "I love you Buffy. Always." He stood back up and walked over to the window. Willow told him it would be a couple of minutes before his part began. A few minutes later, Willow motioned for Spike to stay very still and to look at Buffy. Still standing by the window, he did as he was told. As the spell progressed, Spike fell to the ground and began to shake. He was mumbling things. His eyes turned a neon green right before snapping shut and suddenly he was still. When the spell was completed, Spike's lifeless body lay on the floor. Buffy shot up off the couch and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of her yelling "NNNNNOOOOOOO!!!" 


	9. Changes

My Darling, My Vampire.

By Ann (aka Roswell4ever1)

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Ok, I am running out of afflictions to throw at you if you try to take Spike from me. So, let me just put it this way. Not only will you develop a rash, lose some fingers and toes, have your car disappear, your cat start barking, your hair fall out, crud on you fingernails and fungus between your toes, but your computer will die, your roof will cave in, and your dog will run away with the banker's cow! I urge you to leave Spike alone! The man belongs to me!

Song used is Careless Whispers by George Michael

Part Nine- Changes

Buffy jumped off the couch and went running over to where Spike lay. She began to shake him but truth be told, she was shaking more than he was. After about ten minutes of trying, she lay her head on his chest and began to sob. This couldn't be happening. She had waited for so long to find him. To be with him. To love him. And now, here he lay and she would never get the chance to see their wedding day or their children, grandchildren. What happened? What went so wrong that the outcome was this? Giles and Willow did their best to comfort her, but it was no use. She had just lost the love of her life. Nothing was going to take that away.

Xander and Anya came crashing in the front door yelling something about a dead demon in the front yard. But it just went in one ear and out the other. Buffy couldn't focus. She couldn't deal with some big ugly in the yard when...when whatever the hell just happened.

"Um, Xand, Anya, I don't think this is the best time." Willow stated as she pointed over to where Spike was laying.

"What happened?" Anya asked.

"I...I don't know." Willow stuttered. "An Ayola demon took over Buffy and the only way to get it out of her, to save her life, was to put it in someone else." Buffy jerked her head up at hearing this.

"You didn't! Tell me you didn't!" Buffy said through gritted teeth.

"Buffy..." Giles said.

"No! Don't even try to sugar coat this Giles. You stole him from me Willow. I finally get the chance to be happy and you just ripped it away. You should have just let me die!" Buffy cried.

"I don't know what you did Will, but I have one hell of a headache." A groggy English voice said.

Looking down, Buffy said "Spike?"

"Well, it isn't Billy Idol, pet." He replied as he tried to get up.

Buffy grabbed Spike into a hug that could crush mountains. She then pulled away and looked into his eyes. "Spike did you know that Willow was going to put the Ayola into you?"

"I knew." He said.

"And you let her do it? Why would you let her do that Spike? It could have killed you!"

"I told Willow to do the spell luv." He said this knowing that he was about to face the wrath of Buffy which he knew firsthand, wasn't pretty. Before he had a real chance to react, he had a fist in his nose.

"Bloody hell Buffy! I think you just broke it again." He said as he cupped his nose to catch the blood.

"Good!" She yelled. "I cant believe you Spike! Why the hell would you go and tell Willow to do that spell knowing damn well it could kill you? How could you do that?"

"How could I do that? What the hell did you expect me to do Buffy? Let it kill you? Is that what I should have done? Just let you die and never look back? I will be damned if I let that happen knowing there was a way I could stop it!" He was now shouting with her. Everyone else had stepped back knowing that this was something they had to work out themselves.

"Yes Spike! You cheated me out of the equation. You didn't tell me what you had planned, you just went and done it knowing I wouldn't have gone for it! You knew damn good and well I would tell you to let it kill me and that is exactly what you should have done! It is what I would expect of you!" Buffy yelled.

Hurt now by her words, Spike looked down at his shoes then back up at her. In a very calm voice, he said "Well, if that is something you would expect me to do, then you really don't know me Buffy. You don't know me at all. You still see me as some monster who doesn't give a damn about anybody but myself. Your right. I did leave you out of the equation when it came to making my decision. I did, and I'm sorry Buffy. Maybe I should have tried to talk to you about it first. But when I looked at you, I saw my world ending. I saw you laying on that couch dying and I saw that there was a way to make it go away. I guess I had tunnel vision. But damnit Buffy! I didn't try to cheat you out of anything. All I was trying to do was save you and I thought I was doing the right thing. Evidentily, when you look at me, you cant see how much you really mean to me and I am sorry for that. I will always love you Buffy, but to be honest, I think this is going nowhere but downhill."

"What the hell are you saying Spike? You want to break up?" Buffy responded, still yelling.

"No pet. I don't want to break up. I don't want to be away from you. But, it has just become clear to me that if we don't call it quits now, there will be regrets. You will regret being with me because I just cant conform to fit your life the way you need me to and I will regret that I cant be who you need me to be. Hell, I already have regrets." He was referring to the way he had shouted at her and how he had treated her in the past but knew by the look in her eyes that she thought he meant he regretted being with her.

Buffy looked at him for a brief second then began to walk away.

"Buffy wait! I didn't mean that I regretted being with you. I just meant that..."

"Save it Spike. I don't care anymore. You should have just let me die. If I was so repulsive to you, you should have just let it kill me." She walked away before he had a chance to respond.

Giles, Anya, Willow and Xander stood in the corner not knowing what to say as they watched Spike head to the door. As he opened the door and started out, Xander put his hand on Spike's shoulder and said "We're here for you man. You know where to find us if you need anything or just want to talk." Spike nodded.

"You want us to walk you home Spike?" Willow asked.

"No. I just need to be alone for a little while. Thank you though." He gave her and Anya a hug and walked out. The walk to his apartment was a lonely one. Why the hell had he said that to her? Why couldn't he control his damn tongue? "Bloody poofter!" Cursing himself was something Spike was used to. Why stop now?

A week went by and no one was talking about the breakup. Buffy was avoiding Spike at all costs. If she knew he would be at the shop, she would go home. If she knew he would be at her house talking to the others, she would go to the shop or the library.

"Willow, he said he had regrets. Regrets Will. How am I supposed to feel about that?"

"I don't think he meant he regretted being with you Buffy."

"You know what? I really don't care what he meant. It's over Willow. There is no going back."

Later that night, Spike decided to go to the Bronze. He figured everyone else would be out patrolling and it was karaoke night. One thing that made him feel better was singing. He even had a band at one time. But that was a long time ago and they drifted apart.

Walking into the Bronze, he walked over to the counter and turned in his music. Now all he had to do was wait until it was his turn.

Buffy and the rest of the gang walked in the doors of the Bronze and sat at their usual table. She saw him right away. He was sitting at the bar with his back facing her. He didn't even know she was there. "He has some nerve coming in here."

"Buffy, it is a public club. If he wants to be here, he can be here." Anya said. This didn't help to calm her down. Nope, as a matter of fact, all it did was make her madder.

"Alright ladies and gentleman, tonight is Open Mic night. We don't have many performers for tonight but all is good! Lets give it up for our first performer of the night, Spike!"

"Oh great, he's singing." Buffy said snottily.

Standing up and walking up to the stage, Spike turned around just in time to see Buffy sitting at the table looking at him with. If looks could kill, he would have already been dead by now. Rigamortis would have already set in. Hell, decomposition would have already set in!

"Great. Just perfect." He thought. "Oh well, I came here to sing, and I'm going to sing."

The music started up and he just let it take control of him.

"I feel so unsure.

As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor.

As the music dies...

Something in your eyes,

Calls to mind a silver screen,

And all those sad goodbyes.

I'm never gonna dance again,

Guilty feet have got no rhythm,

Though it's easy to pretend,

I know you're not a fool.

I should have known better than to cheat a friend,

And waste the chance that I'd been given.

So I'm never gonna dance again,

The way I danced with you."

Buffy sat at the table trying not to cry. She could not let him see how much she missed him. Refused to give him that satisfaction.

Spike continued to sing, hard as it was. It would have been so much easier if she wasn't there but she was. He wanted to be mad at her. Wanted to hate her. But he couldn't.

"Time can never mend,

The careless whispers of a good friend.

To the heart and mind,

If your answer's kind...

There's no comfort in the truth,

Pain is all you'll find.

I'm never gonna dance again,

Guilty feet have got no rhythm.

Though it's easy to pretend,

I know you're not a fool.

I should have known better than to cheat a friend,

And waste the chance that I'd been given.

So I'm never gonna dance again,

The way I danced with you.

What am I without your love?

Tonight the music seems so loud,

I wish we could lose the crowd.

Maybe it's better this way,

We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say.

We could have been so good together,

We could have made this last forever...

But now, who's gonna dance with me?

Please stay

I'm never gonna dance again,

Guilty feet have got no rhythm.

Though it's easy to pretend,

I know you're not a fool

I should have known better than to cheat a friend,

And waste the chance that I'd been given.

So I'm never gonna dance again,

The way I danced with you.

Now that you're gone...

Now that you're gone...

Now that you're gone...

Was what I did so wrong?

So wrong that you had to leave me alone?"

He just stood there for a long minute looking at Buffy. She looked at him for a minute then looked at the group. "I...I have to go to the bathroom." She quickly got up and walked away. Spike watched her walk away then turned and left the stage. He went over and paid for his drink and then walked out the door.

"This is just wrong. They are supposed to be together." Willow said.

"I know. I know." Giles agreed. Xander and Anya just sat there in silence with their own thoughts going through their minds.

TBC...


	10. Explorations

My Darling, My Vampire.

Written by Ann (aka Roswell4ever1)

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Ok, I know I have said it before, but I am going to say it again. Stay away from Spike! Unless you want to face the wrath of Ann (which isn't pretty), back off! Enough of the petty stuff already. If you touch Spike, you will get a very bad intestinal bacteria that will eat away your stomach and cause you to have diarrhea for the next six months! STAY AWAY!

Part Ten- Explorations

It was dark. The dark offered solace. No one to look down on him, no one to judge. Just Spike, the weathered brown polyester chair, the dark and a mouse he named Mo. For the last two weeks it had been this way. Spike had Mo, Mo had Spike. But then something happened. Mo decided he liked a mouse that just decided to join the party. Spike decided to call her Harriet. Suddenly Spike was alone again. Looking at the mouse, all he could say was "Traitor." Not long after that, Harriet disappeared. Relationships just weren't what they used to be.

Xander, Willow, Tara and Anya had been by about every other night but he had not heard from Buffy. He could be angry. He could spend his time being pissed at the world but what good would that do? No, he was confused and sad that he hadn't seen her and hurt that she really thought that little of him. I guess one could view it as kind of funny. At 4:30 pm they were telling each other for the first time how much they loved each other, at 9 pm they were patrolling and by 11:45 she ousted him. Spike had been in some pretty short lasting relationships in his lifetime but this had to be the shortest yet most meaningful of them all. Now here he sits in an old brown chair in a run down hotel room alone. Even the mouse left him.

Buffy stood there remembering the conversation she had with her mom earlier that night.

"Mom. What are you doing back so early?"

"Well I'm only two weeks early honey. Besides, I was told you needed someone to talk to."

"Giles?"

"Yes, Giles. What happened Buffy?"

"I don't really know mom."

"Don't you love Spike?"

"More than anything."

"Then what happened?" Buffy sat down and told her mom the whole story and waited for her mom to take her into her arms and tell her everything would be ok. Much to her surprise, this didn't happen. Joyce looked at Buffy and if Buffy didn't know any better, she would say her mom was pissed.

"Buffy Anne Summers. How could you do that to him?"

"What? Mom did you hear anything I just told you?"

"Yes honey I did and from the way I see it, you treated him like shit!"

"Whoa, how do you get that?"

"Spike saw what was happening to you. He couldn't bear it. So he risked himself for you. The man loves you so much Buffy that he risked dying himself to save your life. All he wanted was for you to have a chance to live. And then you spit in his face. You treated him like a monster who didn't give a damn about you when in reality, you are all he cares about! How dare you Buffy? You took the man who loves you and pushed him away because you were too scared to deal with it."

"Mom, in case you didn't hear me the first time, he broke up with me!"

"Could you blame him? You made it quite clear that you didn't think much of him. You still thought of him as some monster. Would you have stayed if you were him? I wouldn't have!"

"I panicked mom. I mean, I finally find the one man who I really love and guess what? He loves me too! And then he goes and has some demon put into him to save me and I just panicked. I couldn't stand the thought of losing him."

"Buffy, have you taken the time to think about the fact that by treating him the way you did, you very well could have lost him anyway?"

"Yeah, I thought about it. That's why I haven't gone looking for him. In my effort to keep him, I lost him anyway."

"I said you could have lost him. I didn't say you did."

"You don't think I did?"

"Knowing Spike? No. He loves you too much to just move on that quickly. Your talking about a man who would die for you and tried to. But you need to talk to him Buffy."

She had been standing in the hallway for the past hour. It wasn't that she didn't want to see him, but rather she was afraid he wouldn't want to see her. Looking down at her watch, she realized it was 1:38 am. He was probably in bed by now. She started to walk away but then realized that if she didn't do this now, she would just chicken out. And it had to be done.

He was just about to turn the tv on to watch his tape of Passions when someone knocked on the door. Not really in the mood for company tonight, Spike yelled through the door "Can we continue our debate on the importance of starch in jockey shorts tomorrow Xan? I'm a bit tuckered tonight." Expecting to hear Xander whine about how it is a very important topic, he was shocked to hear "Spike, it's Buffy."

He slowly walked over to the door and opened it. He looked at her for a minute then turned away. "Come in." With his back to her, he closed his eyes preparing for the worst. He could deal with getting verbally assaulted by anyone. But not Buffy. Not again. Hell, the first time had him eating nothing but celery and talking to a mouse named Mo. In the past two weeks, he had lost 25 pounds and had gone to writing all his feelings in a journal just to deal. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes and walked over to the chair, pointing to the one beside it for Buffy to sit in. She walked over and sat down. She could see the hurt in his eyes. The hurt she had put there. And he had lost so much weight. It looked like he had quit eating all together.

"You want something to drink?" He asked her. "I have water and Pepsi. It isn't cold but I have ice."

"No thanks. I just came to say something to you."

Not liking the sound of that, his stomach cramped. _"Oh for crimeny sakes man, get a hold of yourself! You're a man, act like it!" _he told himself.

"Go ahead." He told her.

"Spike, when that Ayola demon was in me, I figured I was as good as dead. I didn't expect to come out of that alive. I was trapped and in pain. Then all of a sudden, it was gone. Just about the time I started to feel happy about it, I see you on the ground. Not moving. Not breathing. Just laying there. I panicked. I thought I had lost you. Like I was spared but you were dead. I felt guilty, and angry, and sad and lonely all at the same time. Then, there you were again. I was thrilled to see that you were ok. But then, I find out that you did it on purpose. You had Willow put that demon in you. I was hit by a strong feeling of guilt. I hated myself for it, for you being gone. And instead of showing you how glad I was that you were ok, I let my hatred for myself control me and I took it out on you. I blamed you and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry for that."

"I..." Spike started.

"No. Please, let me finish first. I don't blame you for leaving me. I don't. I was a bitch and I wouldn't have stayed either. But I want you to know that I don't see you as a monster. It was just a convenient thing to grab for. I know you Spike. I know you arent who you used to be. You are a good man who would give up everything for someone else, and have. I am so sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to do that. I would do anything to take it back but I cant. I'm not asking you to take me back. I just hope that maybe one day you can forgive me and we can be friends again. Well, I better get going. It's late." She stood up and started towards the door.

"Buffy." Buffy turned around and looked at Spike. "Yeah?"

"Don't go."

"Spike I..."

"Please. I just want to hold you."

Knowing how much she wanted him to hold her too, she couldn't just walk away. "Ok."

They walked over and lay down on the little bed in the hotel room. They lay together for a long time just enjoying the feeling of being together. Spike was about to doze off when he felt her kiss his neck. He opened his eyes and saw her looking at him. She looked him in the eyes and bit her lower lip. Reaching down, she pulled her shirt over her head and then smiled down at him.

"Are you sure?" He asked her. She leaned down and kissed him on the mouth then smiled as she pulled away. "I'm sure." He placed his hands on each side of her face and pulled her down to him and kissed her. Breaking away from the kiss, Buffy reached down and pulled off Spike's black t-shirt. She explored his chest with her hands as he worked to unfasten her pants. Once they were free of all barriers, Spike gently rolled over and entered her for the first time. Running her hands up and down his arms, she wrapped herself around him and gently said his name. For the next two hours, nothing else existed. Just the two of them. They explored each others bodies and emotions and all past hurt was gone. Together, they entered a world of mutual ecstasy. They spent their first night together in that hotel room . It was just them and a mouse named Mo.

TBC...


	11. Love Is Bliss

My Darling, My Vampire  
by Ann  
  
DISCLAIMER: I still own NOTHING!  
  
Part Eleven: Love Is Bliss  
  
The next morning, Spike, Buffy and Mo left the hotel. Spike couldnt leave Mo behind so he became a pet. They went back to Buffy's house where Spike would be living. He was told a few days before that the apartment building he was living in had sustained too much damage and would be torn down. Apparently when they were trying to fix it, more of the pipes burst and the place was far beyond repair. Joyce and Giles had snuck off the night before and gotten married. Everyone was shocked when they found out. Shocked but happy. Joyce moved into Giles's house and they couldnt be happier. In the months that followed, Spike and Buffy got engaged, Anya bought a building and opened up a Savings And Loan business, Xander got promoted to Foreman of the construction company he worked for, Willow finished college with an Associates of Applied Science degree, Giles expanded his magic shop and added a wing for beds for the homeless and Joyce found out she was pregnant! Everyone was happy and excited about the things to come. After everything that had happened, Buffy came to one conclusion. Love is bliss!  
  
The End


End file.
